Welcome to my webpage. My name is Ester, and I write all of the posts you see here, I am a certified coach, as well as an EQ facilitator and mentor.
I graduated with a BSc in Management (Sustainable and Ethical Business) but my strongest points were in leadership in practice mainly reflections I had to make regarding social and psychological dynamics in the workplace. I am about to start my Msc in Business and Organisational Psychology working on launching services in Executive coaching and OD consultancy.
I started this blog mainly because I deeply care about my community's capability to feel comfortable learning more about themselves which can aid them to learn about others. Social and emotional learning is not easily accessible or easy to digest. I spent a lot of my early years reflecting and observing my surroundings. I spend a lot of my time building self-knowledge to help me through the various cycles of my life. It is a difficult journey, especially for those who are not used to the vulnerability required for us to grow. Using my personal knowledge and what I have learnt through my studies I hope to provide digestible and valuable content. But more importantly create a small well connected community where we can talk about where we are at in life and cheerlead each other into positive transformation.
One of the biggest heartaches I experience is seeing how easily we as humans keep our perceptions and interpretations to the surface. Our mind is so busy that it has to simplify everything, and we fall for the illusion that the tip of the iceberg is all that’s worth navigating and appreciating. It takes intention and metacognition to address and go beyond the surface level.
My upbringing gave me a few skills that have their consequences, one of them being vigilance to emotional abuse. What that meant for my sanity was not to take someone’s words at face value and to make my own conclusions. It’s essential to consider other important factors, such as actions and intentions. Intention is huge for me, especially when the situation being considered concerns the safety and health of myself and others.
I have gotten into the habit of questioning the intentions of those who point the finger more than the issue they are pointing at. This is something that was well expressed by The School of Life’s Book on Confidence. There’s a chapter called questioning the system, and to summarise, we have the habit of assuming benevolence in others, none the wiser of the malevolent intention of someone we deemed to have authority. You would think the interviewer didn’t give you the job simply because you weren’t competent, because you assume they were being fair when the job was a shadow listing, yet the job was already given to someone the employer knew, but had to go through the protocol regardless.
We are such complex social and emotional beings, constantly adapting, that I find it delusional to simplify our very existence.
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Note* The example I will be using is a small scale eventthat will aid the description of my resolve in a clear manner. It’s also fresh, as it occurred a few hours ago so enjoy!
Trigger Wound: Injustice
An injustice wound typically develops in childhood, though it can form in adulthood through experiences where you were treated unfairly or witnessed unfair treatment of others. This wound often stems from three core schemas: emotional deprivation, mistrust, and dependence. The feeling of persistent unfairness usually arises from emotional neglect or being repeatedly mistreated. Many people carry this wound without realising it, which is why seemingly small instances of unfairness can trigger such intense emotional reactions.
Growing up I had the unfortunate reality of things of mine being thrown away, taking from me, and simply just having a negligent parent, in school I’ve had complex experiences where social dynamics lead to exacerbated events of injustice too. To give a small spec of frequent incidents I had was my relationship to a particular sibling. This sibling had the habit of taking things that were mine or meant to be shared amongst us as a family, treats, game consoles, clothes. Now siblings wearing your clothes is frustrating but not the worst, but I had a sibling who would take a clothing of mine, scratch the logo, to intentionally make it harder to recognise, and be very cautious about when they wear it, and when asked what happened they would lie and gaslight me. Now this wound is one of the smaller ones I have so I’m happy to share it with you.
The Event: A stolen package
Today something irritating happened a package was stolen. I prefer pick up locations to collect my deliveries but because the package was huge it had to be delivered. The delivery driver was quite negligent and left the package in an open space leaving the building door wide open with the package in sight, a building which is 30secs across a bus stop and main road to a bus garage and a shopping centre. Within a span of 15mins (I simply washed my rice for a meal) I went downstairs it was gone.
Now I do have a wound around injustice, its smaller than the others I have but its there. But this is how I was able to restore emotional balance.
‘empowering yourself has everything to do with leaning into and being attuned to your direct experiences and then taking your life in the direction, you want’
Acceptance: It’s unfair, its stupid, the person who stole it will reap rewards for stealing, the negligent employee won’t even hear a word about this and may continue being a reckless delivery driver regardless for the rest of the afternoon, as it will just be written as a business expense that can take place sometimes. I on the other hand, no longer have the reality in which I had what was rightfully mine in my hand today, something I’ve been looking forward to for quite a while.
De-fusion: Detachment from the thought that was inflating the experience. In the book ‘The Happiness Trap’ by Russ Harris in the first edition, one of the earliest teachings was defusion, acknowledging, thoughts simply being words.
Thoughts are just ‘words’ that come in and out of your mind.
and the reality is that we are the ones that offer meaning to these words, this is what ‘triggers’ and emotion. We can’t control our trigger but we can change and manipulate what these words mean to us. And this leads on to the next lesson, understanding what we can and can’t control because that is what is most useful to think about:
Develop the courage to solve those problems that can be solved, the serenity to accept those problems that can’t be solved, and the wisdom to know the difference
I reported the item as missing, I have to wait 2 days before looking for a resolution in the case it magically pops up near my door, a location that even the deliver driver had no desire to come to (bear with me, I promise I’m releasing this)
I also had to acknowledge that I felt like sh*t. My injustice wound naturally will trigger thoughts of why am I getting the short end of the stick? What about me is deserving of this? An impulse to avenge (write a bad review, escalating it by calling the police, check the security cameras, print a picture slap it at the front door, I was pissed for 5 minutes straight!)
So, it was important for me to manage my response. So it was important for me in my actions to restore a balance, to feel like I can offer myself consideration (opposite action) from what I just experienced. This is the internal working for me I defused the experience:
‘This is an isolated event that happened, I will not stockpile it to paint an image that this is or will be a pattern in my life, evidence, I received a package earlier this morning, it was on time and was safely received.
I’m trialling some new skincare products!
This event was something where the probability of something bad happening was conveniently higher, it was 5pm-ish, I live in a high traffic location, the door into the housing complex was left wide open it’s not a gate with a concierge inside it’s just an unsupervised entrance.
My life will move on, I will get what’s owed to me as it’s not my fault to carry. I still have a to-do list to get done, I have admin to prepare for my master’s degree, I would like to create a YouTube banner for my YouTube channel, I also would like to refine my brand slide deck. My money will be refunded, and the outcome of me consuming the products will be happening in a week. What every person involved in this mishap does is also no longer my business.
Opposite Action: I journalled in my mood diary, which is simply a little homework I’m doing for my counsellor for the week. I’m ultimately just monitoring patterns and triggers like this one that could be affecting my mental health; I wrote this blog as gratitude to my experiences as it shows how much I have matured; I did a 20 min yoga routine, and finally ending my night using the skin care that safely arrived in my hands earlier in the morning.
There are many ways that we can regulate ourselves after triggering events: situation selection, situation modification, response modulation… but I think this strategy was the most effective it had a mix of ACT/DBT strategies (acceptance, cognitive reappraisal & opposite action) through a process of wound → trigger → acceptance → defusion → opposite action. I really hope this blog was useful or simply stimulating to read! Wishing you well.
I had the honour of being invited back to Globe Academy – as an alumna and Globe Academy Award winner to attend the Globe Academy Awards 2025, celebrating some truly outstanding students and talent.
I was invited to give a speech to the awarding students, and although I only had time to share a shortened version on the night, I wanted to share the full version here, in all its glory. This speech is a message I thought would be useful to be reminded of if I was in there position.
This Current Period
For many it is currently a time of transition some of you are going to be heading to the next year and others to university, or straight to work , regardless the next academic year you will be faced with new opportunities, new lessons, new goals, new rewards, new obstacles and as someone who has been through all the periods of transitions you can go through with Globe Academy, I’m going to share what we allowed me to flourish when I was in your positions.
You are a collective
My biggest hope is that you don’t forget to help your peers. There were times in my Business class, when we were completing coursework I remember sitting with my peers and supporting them when I completed mine, and them to me whenever I was stuck on something. There were times where there was two of us helping one student, we had each others back. We understood we were a collective; creating an environment of trust and genuine support made us a lot happier, we had bigger dreams, we had bigger goals, we had a lot of confidence in ourselves. Because it wasn’t a competition, we wanted to see each other win So to the class of 2025 when you can, offer help, when you can, don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Stay ambitious!
I love being ambitious and proving myself right. No human invention was ever created by someone who believed there was a ceiling to what could be achieved.
If I had aimed for a MMM, or a CCC, or a Level 4 that’s probably all I would’ve gotten. But because I set my sights on Distinction Stars across the board – A*A*A*. I had to think differently. I had to ask myself: What would it actually take to get there?
That ambition forced me to raise my standards. And even if I didn’t hit the exact mark, I knew I’d get closer to it than I ever would’ve if I hadn’t aimed that high in the first place.
The journey won’t always be easy, but there’s nothing more fulfilling than achieving your biggest goals.
But it’s easier to be ambitious when you have a clear vision
What Makes Globe Academy Special: VISION
It’s easier to stay ambitious when you have a clear vision.
Vision, is about seeing yourself in positions you may not have seen yourself in. When I failed the year, I overcame that letdown by visualising what success would now look like. I had a clear image of progress:
– Where I would sit to study – What materials I used to study – What I was wearing – What time of day it was
That clarity helped me move forward.
And that’s one of the most special things about Globe—the unspoken relationship it has with vision. It’s part of the culture.
There was a time when going to university wasn’t seen as a normal step—but at Globe, it is. And I’m especially grateful to Mr Jones for the corporate partnerships that helped us get there.
Because of those connections, I had experiences with Bloomberg, Capgemini, Bouygues UK, EY, Subject focused conferences, summer schools, tutors through The Access Project, coaches through CoachBright- even theatre trips. When I was younger, I thought theatre was basically the cinema… but for rich people.
Globe brought success into sight. It made professional success feel close, feel like it was a matter of when not if.
We’re 20 minutes away from some of the biggest companies in the world – yet, we didn’t see ourselves in those spaces for a long time.
I’m grateful for the proactivity of the sixth form team-Ms Barcinska, Ms Baldwin, Ms Donachy -and for a principal who always mirrored professionalism. The kind of principal who shook our hands firmly and treated us like adults capable of great things. So when it came time to enter interviews or corporate environments, we knew how to carry ourselves with confidence.
Because of all this, I never had impostor syndrome – not at my Russell Group university, not at Bloomberg, not at the Crown Estate, not at British Land, and not even when I walked into a theatre performance space I never imagined I’d belong in.
Even when I failed my year, I overcame it by visualising the version of me who didn’t. Even now, when I doubt myself, I visualise the version of me who doesn’t.
Vision is one of the keys to success. And Globe has imbedded in me.
Thank You
Thank you to my teachers, Mr Simpson, for believing in our goals, recognising our potential, and nurturing it because you wanted to see us win.
Thank you, Mr Jones, for making the vision clear, for treating us like professionals, and for investing in a culture where we could see ourselves in positions of influence.
Thank you to my peers, for all the encouragement and support throughout the years. I miss you, and I’m wishing you the best wherever life takes you
So, remember, keep your vision clear, stay grateful, support each other and stay ambitious.
I believe in all of the students and the alumni from the Globe community we were nurtured to be capable, to be leaders, to be change makers. And I have no doubt that’s exactly who you are becoming.
“To perceive the world differently, we must be willing to change our belief system, let the past slip away, expand our sense of now, and dissolve the fear in our minds,”
Ester's Eunoia 